I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
