just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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