I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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