You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
