I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
