that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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