He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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