the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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