He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
it's great music for shaving your balls
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
