My room smells like vodka and shame
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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