he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
