I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize