At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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