margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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