WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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