No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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