In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
