I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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