Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
