why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize