Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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