and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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