dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
