i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize