ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
