I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
