So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
