i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
