First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
