the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
