He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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