GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
