office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
