How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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