so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My cat gives me a boner
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
