Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize