Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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