turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
