It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize