You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
