I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
