This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
