haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
