Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize