apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
