Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize