This is not my ceiling
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
