Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
