after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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