There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
