I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
