I am in a vortex of obligation.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
