The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
