My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
