Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
