This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
is wine microwaveable?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize