was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
