i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize