what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
