if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just high enough for therapy.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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