Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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