Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think my moral compass just broke
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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