It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
