Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
