And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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