I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
