hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
