Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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