whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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