Soap is not a condiment
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
