My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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