thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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