He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
