some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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