she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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