Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
