i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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