i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize