I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
