I think my vagina is haunted
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
